Book review, Going Solo
>> February 21, 2012
My favorite chapter is number two, The Capacity to Live Alone because I felt this is where I could most relate. The interviewees were all pretty much like me, single by choice or have no real desire to settle down right now, young, professional and who preferred living alone. What I enjoyed most about this chapter was that most people admitted that sometimes, in some form, they felt lonely living solo or found somethings challenging but overall enjoyed their lives. I loved connecting to the women who built their careers and homes on their terms. Trying hard to make new friends and build meaningful communities was at the cornerstone of their minds. This is something that interests and is vital to myself also so I felt most connected to the people in this chapter. Worrying about getting married and having kids are seemingly the last things on their minds and I found that refreshing in the book.
Not all people who were interviewed for the book enjoy or want to remain single or live alone for the rest of their lives. Some of the participants, as outlined in the chapter titled, Together Alone, know what it is like to live alone and although they love(d) it, are ready to move along and share their lives and space with a partner. This chapter continues to touch on the subject of singles who fight and advocate for people who live alone and the injustices they (we) face such as singlism (the term coined by Bella DePaulo) and the dreaded single supplement to name a few. These people work tirelessly so change in society will take place and in general be more favorable for people living alone. Spreading the word on our way of living is increasing and encouraged.
This chapter does however close with the reality of people who live alone having to deal with life changing health situations if this ever arises. Many people who live alone have to reach out to extended family and friend members to help them in their times of health crisis as they themselves more than likely, do not have a family of their own. Although this is a very real issue, my personal opinion here is that having a husband and/or children and living with other people does not by any means guarantee that help will be offered if needed. Kids and a partner, if they are living and healthy, does not automatically equal assistance in times of need. Sometimes external family and friends are the only people to help or be there for people with partners and children.
The next chapter, Aging Alone, deals mainly with being childless,the decline in health and aging. The author interviews many single elderly men and women who are dealing with growing older and the changes that life throws them. Some touch on the realization of not being able to upkeep or maintain their living space, dealing with younger people treating them like children and controlling their lives and the death of people in the community over time. Overall, some people seem to accept the changes they face in life but others grow bitter and cynical with the world around them.
Eric Klinenberg does not solely look at the growing rise of solo living in North America alone. He reaches as far as Stockholm to find out how their shocking numbers of single dwellers prosper. Unlike in North America, where the general consensus is that people who live single are somehow lacking, Scandinavia is almost the polar opposite. I was intrigued in the way this society of people embraced and encouraged single living but also wondered how it was so successful. The author interviews many people ranging in ages 20 to 40 to find out how this thriving society can have such a large and growing sector of people living alone. The answer is that social programs are set in place and maintained for people living alone in this society. The general rise of single living has increased since the 1930's and it is almost encouraged in this country. It seemingly is a way of life in this culture and is not frowned upon. Their society has created and changes as needed, living spaces for their vast amount of people living alone.
As pointed out at the beginning of this post, I feared Eric Klinenberg would somehow make the appeal and rise of solo living look horrible and bleak to the outsider looking in but he does not. He captures the reality of living alone. The very real economics of living alone along with social ramifications whether positive or negative is touched on in this book. He deals with the very real aspect of growing older alone and the possibility of declining self care and the financial hardships many people who live alone are facing. Klinenberg does a good job of showing the good, the bad and the possible ugly of living alone but the overall spin is not negative. If he has any biases toward this way of living, it is not seen in the book and for which I am greatful.
I would recommend this book to the naysayers and hard-core advocates of solo living out there as both would benefits from the truisms that shine throughout the book. Eric Klinenberg is correct in assessing that although living alone can be seen in a negative light, at least in North America, and has a general overall negative view by society, the rise is steadily growing. I personally feel discord will change over time and a positive light only increase as people realize and know their plot in life does not necessarily have to be one way or the highway. Not everyone desires to live alone long-term but the growing number of us who enjoy it for now is growing and will continue to rise.
I applaud the author for delving into this sometimes touchy subject and bringing forth the real aspects of living alone. I am personally enlightened by the book and have learned some important things along the way. One key take way lesson I learned, is to ensure my finances are in order so that if the very real possibility of health decline does occur, I have the options to take care of myself and not be stuck depending on others to aid me as I would like to continue to live alone for as long as I possibly can. Thank you Eric for opening the door to this rise people who live alone and spreading the word in this very real and growing way of life. Read more...
