February 13, 2012

Valentine's Day for the Single person


I remember watching the movie, Valentine's Day, last year and actually liking the movie. It really is sweet if a bit corny but I like a bit of corn with my romance. For someone who does not necessarily believe in the longevity of couple relationships, I do enjoy all aspects of romance. Little things like a man holding the door for me, couples who walk hand in hand, romantic dinners, the whole nine yard, really make me feel mushy. Trust me, I am not some hardened and bitter single woman. I don't look at couples with disdain and malice. Far from it. I feel happy when I see functioning and genuinely happy couples. It actually warms my heart. I think it is a rare treat for people to actually find their "true love" (if that even exists) but don't necessarily go after it myself. I will date but that is as far as it will go. So, what does valentine's day have to do with this? Well, I enjoy the "holiday" even while being happily single.

That might sound like an oxymoron but I swear it is the truth. I walk around the malls and see all the pretty pink and red displays and I feel happy for couples. This is usually one occasion where the fights stop and romance is allowed to linger. It is all very sweet and wonderful. 

But, the day itself is very commercial and reserved almost primarily for couples. I mean, what about the rest of us? People who are not in relationships due to circumstances out of their control? What about people like me who choose the freedom and less stressful lifestyle of solo by choice? What can Hallmark offer me?

I think I spent too many years forcing myself to give a crap about something I didn't care about (being married) and when I accepted my passion for staying out of that marriage lifestyle, I felt so much happier. In the past, I watched on with rapt interest as people around me exchanged presents and went on passionate dinners or weekends away. I used to think, why not me? What is wrong with me? I finally realized that I purposefully kept myself away from relationships by my actions alone. But, that is for another blog post. Now I don't want to be on the outside looking in. I want to participate. I want to do lovely things for myself all by myself. I pride myself on rarely relying on others for most things in life and this extends to love day.
Not gonna lie, it would be sweet for someone to take me out for dinner or buy me something nice but who can wait? Or, why wait? I will do something special for myself all by myself! I don't think the commercial sector has caught onto this growing rise of solo by choice people in society just yet, but I know when they do, they will be touting their wares in droves. In the meantime, what are we singletons to do? I, for one, am not part of the hide under the covers until the day passes crowd. I personally think that it is sad but whatever you have to do in life, do it. I for one will enjoy the day and the festivities but for one!
Valentine's Day isn't only for lovers. It is about love and friendship so instead of wallowing in self-pity about not having a man or woman in your life, spread some cheer. Here are a few of my tips to chase those potential sad V-Day blues away.
-Do something nice for someone else. Something big or small. It is the sentiment that counts.
-Do something nice for yourself. This can be simply being kind to yourself this day or taking yourself away on a trip. The choice really is yours.
-Bake cookiefor your coworkers and friends. Make it special by coloring the frosting pink. This will make anyone's day.
-Volunteer your time and services.
-You don't have anyone to buy flowers for? Why not pick up a bunch of pretty posies for yourself instead! They will put a smile on your face for a few days indeed.
-Make a nice meal and enjoy. You don't have to share a single bite.
-Watch a movie you have been dying to see that just hit the theatre. Buy that movie ticket, some popcorn and plant your butt down in that movie theatre and relax.
-Watch a movie you have been putting off seeing but at home. Crank up that DVR or dust off that DVD. All you need is a quiet room, a blanket and a cup of hot cocoa (or a cool bottle of beer).
-Get in a sweat session at the gym or head out for a quick run or speed walk and make yourself feel good.
To me, there is a plethora of great things singles can do for themselves on valentines day. Or hell, why not try to do a self pleasing activity for yourself daily. Don't wait for February 14. My goal here is to empower single people. Our voice is getting louder and louder daily and for this, we should rejoice. Enjoy love day by loving yourself and, maybe, someone else. There is no shame in self-care. We can only truly love someone else if we love ourselves first. Happy V Day my single comrades.

1 comment:

eleanore said...

I love your line "What can Hallmark do for me". Indeed! Hallmark needs to get more creative!